Odd Things About The Bible

I've read the bible many times and recently I've been thinking a lot about some of the things found in the bible, what religious people find deplorable, and how many of the things they hate are in the bible. Here are a few examples based solely on word definitions and characters and their actions in the bible.

Bastard - a person born of parents not married to each other.

Is it just me or does this describe Jesus?

Adultery - voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.

This may or may not describe God and Mary. While the bible never says if God and Mary had sex, she did get pregnant by God and I only know of one way that is possible. There is also the conflicting passages saying she was married to Joseph and wasn't married yet in a different book of the new testament.

Sinner - a person who transgresses against divine law by committing an immoral act or acts.

I find this one to be the oddest. One of God's laws is to not kill. However, God killed everyone on earth except for one family. I leave it to you to decide if this was an immoral act and therefore making him a sinner or not.

Irreverence - a lack of respect for people or things that are generally taken seriously.

Jesus went into a church and basically call them a bunch of money grubbing assholes? (Paraphrasing of course)

Blasphemy - the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things.
Sacrilege - violation or misuse of what is regarded as sacred.

When Jesus went into said church and started throwing stuff around.

You might be able to just brush most of these thing off with some statements like Jesus was God so he could not blasphemy, or be irreverent. However, you can not deny Jesus is a bastard according to the stories.

While thinking about these types of things, I got to thinking about something else. Why do people think God is the good guy in the story? Why do people think the devil was the villain? I mean in any other book the villain would be the one that wants to control the word, kills people, and lies to everyone. Now, let's look at the who the Devil is.

Devil means accuser in Greek and is also known as Satan which is a shortened version of ha-satan which is Hebrew for the same thing. Within the Bible we learn of Lucifer which is another name for the Devil which means bringing light in Latin. None of the names imply he's the villain here, maybe it's in the story.

The story of the Devil begins as the highest and most powerful angel God makes. They have dispute and God kicks Lucifer out of heaven. We don't hear from him for the rest of the old testament. Although, some have said that the serpent in the garden of Eden is the Devil in disguise. I guess we should look at that part too just in case this view is correct, though we will never know since the author is long gone.

God tells Adam and Eve they will die of they eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The serpent comes along and tells them that God lied. They would not die. They ate the fruit and didn't die. Sounds like God did lie and the serpent was telling the truth. If this was the Devil then so far he sounds like a better guy than God. But let's move on.

The rest of the old testament is oddly free of Satan except in reference by God and humans. Blaming him for this and that along the way. Kind of like on Stargate SG1 when General O'neill left the SGC for the final season but was referred to in dialog. At least he made a guest appearance once in awhile though. The Devil never did. God on the other hand seemed to be all over the place.

In the meantime God wiped out Sodom and Gomorrah, the Amalekites, the Midianites, and the entire planet except for one family. There may have been more that I can't remember off the top of my head. God also ordered slavery, forced marriage, more killing, theft, sexual oppression, beatings, and the cutting off of limbs. All of that is just in the book of Deuteronomy.

Then of course there is Jesus in the new testament. God made Jesus as a human sacrifice even though it was his son (and him?). Then the Devil shows up. What does he do? Since Jesus hadn't eaten for 40 days he told him to use his power to feel himself. Satan tried to talk Jesus out of letting himself be killed. Then the Devil offered Jesus some land if he joined the Devil's side. When Jesus refused the last of the offers he Devil left without another word. Meanwhile, God wanted his son to starve, be tortured, and killed.

Throughout this story, the only thing we hear from the Devil himself seem reasonable and his actions are not harmful. Whereas God has done and commanded some horrible things.

Since the evil deeds of the Devil do not seem to be in the story either I see no reason to consider Satan as the villain. In fact he has meet none of the defined villainous traits. However, it seems God fits every criteria listed. The only reason I can see that people think God is the hero of the story here is the fact the line God is good appears all threw the book.

Come to think about it. The Devil almost matches what Harry Potter did in the first 6 book except the fighting. Whereas God matched a lot more to Voldemort. Interesting how that works, isn't it?

Like always though, don't just take my word for it. Read the book from cover to cover. See if you can dispute my claims. After all, what do I know? I'm just some guy named Rug, but that is what I think.

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