Planned Parenthood

In recent headlines from end of 2015 Planned Parenthood has been mentioned a lot. First there was a lot of hoopla over a video that didn't show they were doing anything wrong. Then of course the was the terrible tragedy of a nutcase shooting one facility up. There has been talks in the government about defunding Planned Parenthood, and many nasty thing being said about them all over the news. I would like to take a few minutes here and give my recollection of my experience with them.

I was 15 years old living in a small town most people would call the middle of nowhere. This was a predominantly white, middle class, rural town.  The schools had a decent sex education program where they taught about contraceptives, gave rather accurate failure rates of contraceptives, STD's (nowadays called STI's), and showed the only 100% safe sex was no sex. It taught us about our bodies, and the bodies of the opposite sex. To this day I still cannot find any logical or factual faults with this sex education program. It was fact based and accurate.

One other thing that the instructor for this informative sex education course mentioned was Planned Parenthood. They did not mention all the services they performed but they did mention there were people that could and would help with any questions that was not covered or brought up in class. Basically Planned Parenthood was named as a resource for when you didn't feel comfortable asking these kinds of questions to your parents or teachers. It was also noted that you would be provided with accurate medical information. I was one of the kids that didn't want to open my mouth about sex in a classroom. There was no way I was going to talk to my parents about sex if I could avoid it. So, I went to Planned Parenthood.

I thought I would have to make an appointment two to three week in advance like I would a doctor's office, and be sitting down with some old grouchy nurse that would tell me I was an evil child for thinking about sex. I imagined the place would be cold and sterile like a hospital. It was my perception that I would have to fill out a lot of paperwork and probably even have to get my parents permission. I even figured I would have to pay some fee just to sit down and talk to someone about questions that I had. As it turns out, I was wrong on all accounts.

I walked into Planned Parenthood and told the friendly lady at the front desk I would like to talk to someone about some things. She smiled at my obvious discomfort and vagueness. I was asked to have a seat in a small private room with only a table and a couple of comfy chairs. To my surprise it was the same lady from the front desk that came in a moment later with a couple of sodas, a small box, and sat down in the other chair. Of course the first question she asked was how old I was. I lied and said 18. She gave me a look like my mom always did when she knew I was lying. So I corrected the lie. Then she smiled again and she asked how school was going. This kinda knocked me off balance but yet helped to settle my nerves. In fact we didn't even start talking about sex until we was chatting comfortably.

The approach to sex started when she asked if I had a girlfriend. When I responded with "Kinda" took an interest. Once I was done explaining that confusing situation, she asked if I was feeling pressured to have sex. I would like to point out here that most people don't even think about that for guys. I was actually impressed more by this later in life, but didn't seem to mean much at the time. Through the course of the conversation it was understood that I was not a virgin but still lacking in experience. Then she asked me something that no one had bothered to ask before. "Do you want to have a child?" I think my answer surprised her more than her question surprised me. "Yes" After a bit more of the conversation I had explained that I wanted to get a decent job, get married, and have a couple of kids in that order. By the time I got around to asking the couple of questions I had, I didn't feel as nervous or ashamed. Her answers where straightforward, relatable to the situation I was in, and my goals for the future.

Once the conversation was over and I was ready to leave, it was perfectly clear that no sex was not an option for me. Though she did stress that option as the best option a few times. She handed me a brown paper bag and told me to open it when I get home. She called it a care package. When I got home I opened the bag a found at least a month supply of condoms, a pamphlet about consent, and other pamphlets about the use of condoms and other contraceptives. Overall I have to say that my experience with Planned Parenthood was great. I went back a few times and got more condoms with no questions asked.

Looking back I realise she never once asked my name, nor did she offer hers. I have come to realise that by not offering her name it removed the obligation of me providing my name. I also found out later that if I had stated that I was going for abstinence I would have gotten a completely different care package. The abstinence care package was a few pamphlets about consent, a few more on peer pressure, and even one on open communication in a relationship.

The whole idea of Planned Parenthood is exactly what the name implies. Helping people not become a parent until they plan to be. Some Planned Parenthoods perform abortions and many people have issues with that. However, that is only a small part of what they do. They give people a place to get information and maybe help when they feel that have nowhere else to go. They do an amazing job and I recommend everyone go there if you are planning a family or planning to not have a family. They can help in either case. Then again. I'm just a guy named Rug, but that is what I think.

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